Dating An Ex Drug User

Someone with less than a year sober should stay focused on their recovery program, not dating. This guideline is designed to protect the addict as well as the people they might date. In the earliest stages, most recovering addicts are trying to figure out who they are, what they want and how to be in a healthy relationship. An estimated 40 to 60 percent of addicts relapse, according to the National Institute on Drug Abuse.

Since relapse is always a possibility, addicts and their partners need to stay alert to their triggers and be prepared to get help when warranted. The threat of relapse need not deter you from dating someone firmly grounded in their recovery. It is simply a reality you should be aware of. Being a loving partner to a recovering addict requires sensitivity and discretion. If you go to parties or events where alcohol is being served, you may need to leave early or offer additional support.

Short of a relapse, there still may be times when they fall into old habits, such as withdrawing from friends and family or telling lies. Many recovering addicts have done things in the past that result in a criminal record, making it harder to get a job. They may have accrued significant debt, declared bankruptcy or had other financial problems. They may still be working out legal issues and trying to earn their way back into the lives of family and friends.

Although these are not necessarily deal-breakers, you need to know that their problems can become your problems. In any relationship, setting and enforcing personal boundaries is an essential skill. There may come a point in the relationship when you need to ask some difficult questions: Even though he was in seminary, extremely involved in his church and could lead a Muslim at the local convenient store to Christ, he was in fact not being truthful about his drug addiction.

He was still struggling and had fallen back into the lifestyle several times while we were dating. Why do I share all this with you? While it sounds like your boyfriend is recovered and even helping others through addiction praise the Lord , you are still taking a risk. Many people never beat the kind of addiction he is recovering from. But then again, life is about risk! None of us has any guaranteed that our loved ones won't fall back into their old lifestyle, lie, or betray us.

This is where we do have to trust - not only the person you are dating, but God. Pray about this situation, spend more time dating him, and more time getting to know who he really is. God is still in the healing business. Also, continue to seek God for each step of the relationship. In my case, I prayed, I asked friends and family for advice Celebrate Recovery is a great resource for guidance and because the trust had been broken and he had no remorse, there was no way to heal the relationship and move forward.

While there is no way to ever know what a person may or may not do in the future, our God is still a part of that future. HE is … Cliff Young, a Crosswalk. He has traveled the world in search of fresh experiences, serving opportunities, and the perfect woman for him and has found that his investments in God, career and youth ministry have paid off in priceless dividends. Kris Swiatocho, the President and Director of TheSinglesNetwork. Kris has served in ministry in various capacities for the last 25 years.

An accomplished trainer and mentor, Kris has a heart to reach and grow leaders so they will in turn reach and grow others. She is also the author of three books. We are not trained psychologists or licensed professionals.


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The Good, The Bad And The Ugly Of Dating A Drug Addict

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