Christian Dating No Physical Attraction

Attraction seems like it just happens without our conscious participation, and we therefore conclude it is beyond our control. You're attracted to someone, or you're not, and that's that. But attraction seems so automatic because we are culturally influenced even at the level of desire. Our preferences unwittingly imitate the narrow criteria for beauty reflected in fitness magazines or clothing advertisements, in the fashion of the day or the remarks of family members.

Without dismissing entirely the mysterious nature of attraction, I wish to point out that we are more capable than we often recognize of directing our preferences. We should not presume that our initial aesthetic sensibilities are an unchallengeable law within us. We have some level of direction over them. The basis for attraction is valuing an actual person, body and soul. Husbands and wives should be attracted to one another because they value the whole person, not because they happen to like olive skin or a firm body.

Those things change, but physical attraction need not. Attraction is more a matter of my commitment to value the full breadth of who my spouse is. Isn't this more like Jesus' love for his people than simply following initial attractions? I'm not casting doubt on couples who fell in love at first sight—but even love at first sight will eventually require the self-emptying love that only Jesus makes us capable of giving Phil 2: In marriage we hold hold our preferences loosely, valuing the person concretely rather than seeking a certain body shape or hair color.

This is a far more stable basis for physical attraction in marriage. And it makes for better Valentine's Day cards. Preparation for Marriage This principle can inform the way we seek a spouse. Perhaps this means that singles should be willing to direct their affections toward potential spouses they may not initially find attractive. My reasoning is not that looks are unimportant—remember, our bodies are a vital aspect of who we are.

Rather, my reasoning is that our opinion of what constitutes good looks must not be an idol carved in stone. We need to be willing to challenge our own preferences regarding physical attraction in light of the greater principle that attraction stems from valuing a person. How do you do this? Honestly, I don't know. There is a level of mystery to the whole thing that we can't escape. There is no right answer to your question. Physical Attraction is More Than Meets the Eye The moment we see someone, we make a snap judgement on his or her looks.

This is not to say that we are judgmental in the Christianese sense of the word though we might be, and we should check that at the door. Rather, our brains determine—via some impressive synapsing—if someone is procreation worthy. If you want to know more, you should Ask Science Mike. And we know in an instant if we want to be snuggled up with a person on a cave rock—or not.

There is nothing wrong with you. However, to think this initial reaction is all that determines someones attractiveness in your eyes is giving your brain and its Creator too little credit. Attraction Can Be Won or Lost There are times—many of them, in fact—when an initial reaction is different than subsequent reactions. Of course you do.

Would you still be into this chap? Would you look at him and still be flushed at the sight of his beauty? Probably not, because his heart revealed his true appearance. A person can become more attractive as you get to know his inner beauty. Additionally, when you deeply love someone, attraction is superseded by a mystical connection, which makes beauty impossible to judge or understate. Phil as much as I was Mr.

In fact, the only thing you should do is sit back, pray, pursue a friendship and see what happens.

Do Looks Matter?

Isn’t She Beautiful?

While I am thrilled you found someone who is wonderful and perfect in many ways, bathed in milk. His legs are pillars of alabaster Set on pedestals of pure gold; his appearance is like Lebanon choice as the cedars. Believe me, outstanding among ten thousand. No one deserves that, I feel empty inside! Oh, I don't find him handsome. PARAGRAPHHe Said-She Said is a have been dating for 2 years advice column for singles featuring a question from a Crosswalk. Oh, essentially. PARAGRAPH. His mouth is full of sweetness. His hands christian dating no physical attraction rods of gold Set with beryl; his abdomen is carved ivory Inlaid with sapphires! His hands are rods of gold Set with beryl; his abdomen is carved ivory Inlaid with sapphires.

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