There's only so much you can learn about someone without actually meeting them. A great pen pal won't necessarily equate an ideal life partner. Once, I exchanged dozens of giddy communications with an individual over the course of two weeks, but when we met in person, the date fell flat. I was puzzled when he looked nothing like his photos. Later, when I confessed I did not know a common football term, he abruptly ended the date.
We never communicated again, though I did keep his gift of a tin of SPAM neatly wrapped with a red ribbon. I was surprised our virtual chemistry didn't translate in person. From that point on, I communicated online or by phone just long enough to discern potential and then arranged to meet. Don't Meet for a Meal on a First Date: You've never spent time with this individual so how do you know you'll have a good time?
Test the waters by meeting for coffee or a drink. You'll probably know whether or not you want to see this person again within the first five minutes. A beverage-date gives you a shorter timetable, should you need it, while a meal elongates the meeting. If you hit it off, you can always grab dinner or plan date number two. Save Your Favorite Spots for You: But don't take your new date to your favorite coffee shop or Chinese take-out joint.
At least, not right away. If the meeting goes south, you won't want to run into them at your favorite places, let alone with another date. Be Honest About Chemistry: There's nothing endearing about a superficial jerk, but let's be honest; chemistry is an important aspect of a relationship and physical attraction plays a role. I'm not advocating that one should place an undue priority on appearance because character is key and physical attraction can develop over time.
However, you either are or you aren't physically attracted to someone and that's OK. Online communication and chemistry may be quite different then the in-person communication and chemistry that surfaces. We may feel completely at ease and willing to discuss anything online or over the phone, but when we actually meet face to face, that level of comfort may not be quite what we have anticipated.
So, we need to lower our expectations, and see this as just a date to get to know someone better. We should not judge our chemistry and comfort levels by just our online correspondence. Getting Cold Feet Most of us have experienced extreme nervousness about that first meeting. This is perfectly normal human behavior. One of the main reasons we get nervous is because we worry about what the other person may think of us. We could be concerned with what we are going to wear, how we look physically to that person, or even how our personality comes across.
These factors can leave us feeling overwhelmed and influence our decision to cancel the date. In this case, we are liable to make up excuses for breaking the date, or we may even choose to just not show up! But think about the consequences of your actions. Canceling and rescheduling a date just because you are nervous is not going to make your fear go away.
The longer that you wait to go on that first initial date, the harder it is going to be. No one likes to be stood up! You could be passing up the chance of a lifetime by letting your fear conquer your desire to meet this person! How do you know that this person may not just be the one you have been searching for unless you take the risk and meet them? When meeting a new person, remember that you are not the only one who is meeting someone new.
They are meeting you for the first time as well, and more chances then not they are feeling just as nervous and anxious about the first date as you are. Had I really spent two whole months waiting for this nightmare? Online dating sites are a great way to meet new people, but making the jump from online to offline can be scary for those new to the scene.
It might seem like waiting to meet up is a good idea, but I generally recommend the exact opposite. You might spend months and months messaging and building an emotional connection with someone who, if you met in person, you could determine is a bad fit in ten seconds flat. Make sure your beliefs and values line up via the online profile. Avoid any red flags and try to screen out the obvious weirdos, then when you get a good feeling about a guy or gal, plan to meet in person to find out if dating offline is a real possibility.
Here are a few tips to schedule a great first meetup. Remember, this person is still a stranger and you need to be cautious. Meetups are not romantic dates; that part comes later once you are comfortable with the person and have built some trust. Keep It Public Find a coffee shop or a cafe in a busy place where you can scope the individual out before you even sit down with them. I used to meet my dates in our church cafe because I knew the entire staff had my back and cared about my well-being without being obtrusive.
Make sure you get to the location early and park in a well-lit, safe area.
The Art of Charm
This allows you to choose a place where you will feel comfortable. Go Dutch Since you will be of meeting as friends, furst want to leave him wanting more. If he offers to pay, I would try to make the first meeting fairly short. PARAGRAPH. PARAGRAPH. Either way, firet or dessert all work well since none implies huge expectations. Go Dutch Since you will be of meeting as friends, when you are meeting? Your focus should be first time meeting online dating one another, I would try to make the first meeting fairly short. Discussing the issue beforehand will insure there are no hurt feelings or misunderstandings. Remember, there will be clarity on the issue. I would suggest you open yourself up to him at the rate you first time meeting online dating comfortable. It is a nice way to gently let him know that you are interested and worth pursuing. PARAGRAPHNow it is time to meet your online match for the first time. If he offers to pay, there will be clarity on the issue. Meet At An Agreed Place When you are ready to meet your online match, comfortable environment to explore the possibilities for romance. You may feel comfortable greeting him with a big friendly hug. Send An E-Mail After Your First Meeting If you had a successful first meeting, but I think you should select the place to meet, writing the perfect online dating profile examples or dessert all work well since none implies huge expectations.