So get ready to learn everyone's birthdays, anniversaries, and ovulation schedules. Si no, they'll vote you out of the picture. Refuse to learn Spanish or Portuguese. Even if the girl you're dating doesn't speak the language that well or that often, chances are her abuelita or tio Neco does, so it's important that you understand them.
Besides, if you don't know any Spanish, you're making it too easy for her cousins to convince you that "mamame" means "pardon me" in Spanish. Be a jealous, controlling d-bag. Forget what you've heard, most Latinas do not put up with lame machistas, even if the media convinces you that we are obedient and submissive to our men. If you want someone who'll obey you, get a dog.
Ask her to call you papi. It's like what Maury says: Ask her to choose between you and her mother. Oh, it's cute that you think you have a shot in hell at winning. Latinas are ride or die for their mamis and it works both ways , so you'll always lose that battle. He couldn't work fast enough. He also knew that the American Dream was the dream he wanted to achieve for them.
My mom knew her father wouldn't approve either way. My dad wasn't wealthy. And he was older. She's always said that he's 'mi media naranja' a Spanish saying for soul mate. She knew if she wanted to be with my dad, she'd have to runaway with him. Despite not knowing she was pregnant with my older brother at the time, she hid in a bunk in the back of my father's van and they crossed the border together.
They settled in a largely Mexican neighborhood in San Jose, California. Then, when I was five-years old, they moved to Tracy, about an hour drive east of San Jose, where the population was, and remains, predominantly white. The majority of what my parents know about other races they've learned through media or second-hand stories. Stories, which laced with racial stereotypes, were told continuously that they became truth. Those "stories" tell of black men leaving their women, and of black men being promiscuous and violent.
My mother internalized all of this. While problematic, my parents' thinking was the thinking of their time. And, really, it roots deeper than my parents, my grandparents, and their parents before them. Racial tension between Mexicans and blacks, especially on the west coast and in some parts of the south, is tied to an ugly history. Take the segregation and gang rivalry in Los Angeles or the hate crimes in southern states, like Texas and Atlanta.
In Georgia—where the Hispanic population has increased percent from to , and became the third largest state with migrating Hispanics and Latinos—there's been numerous hate crimes between Hispanics and blacks. In the fall of , six Mexican immigrants were murdered when a group of black guys attempted to rob trailer parks known to house immigrant workers.
Both minorities have been reported to confront more than cooperate in certain areas; reports have pinpointed competition for jobs as a factor. What's crazy to me is that both groups, Mexicans and blacks, have been marginalized historically, and dealt with levels of oppression by systems, yet tension is between individuals. But it's not only about where and how it started; it may not even be right to think it started from any one place.
There's a myriad of factors that are both onset by personal experience and exposure to what people see on television or read in the news. The curse is that those factors establish tradition. I've experienced my share of racism and have had racial slurs thrown in my direction. Mostly, if not all, from white people. I've overheard conversations about me where people spewed hateful words because they didn't think I knew English. As far as dating, I've encountered men who've thought of me as the Mexican woman that is there only to serve, speaks Spanish in bed, or has a connect to an inner drug cartel member.
And those misconceptions were directed at me from men of all shades. Once, in , my then-boyfriend and I left a photo of us, taken at an event, at a bodega by accident. When we came back to retrieve it, the guys behind the counter, which looked to be Latino, handed it to us ripped in half.
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