Also, make sure you are seeking people out at events and activities you actually enjoy. Flirt with them…but only a little. It means you flirt just enough to keep them hooked. Too much pursuing and flirting upfront can make you look desperate. However, intentionally withholding yourself from expressing genuine interest as a means to appear cool is not sexy.
Flirting is how you determine if someone is a fit for you. Flirt with a lot of people just a little bit and see which ones you like flirting with the best before getting too attached to any one person. Which brings me to… 3. Flirt with others in front of them. Many people feel like they are somehow cheating or being amoral if they flirt with multiple people in the same night — or at the same time!
However, committing to flirting with only one person at a time gives that person too much power to make or break your night. This puts pressure on both of you, and pressure kills sexual attraction. When I was single, I would flirt with as many as 15 to 20 different men in one night out, most of them for only a minute or two, before figuring out who I wanted to focus more of my attention on. Because of this, I almost always got at least one first date lined up every time I went out.
Being hard to get does not mean being flaky. Because of this, one of the essential pieces of playing hard to get is not answering your phone or text, email and Facebook right away. Sometimes when you meet someone, sparks naturally fly and you get high on all of the delicious brain chemicals that come with sexual excitement. When this happens, you are literally under the influence of your own emotions and not able to make rational decisions.
Was I really attracted to them? It lets me know she's interested. I mean, don't get me wrong, I like it when girls are straight forward too, but there's just something about a girl who teases you before letting you know she's interested that just really appeals to me, both at a bar and at home. It makes me feel unwanted. I like the idea of playing hard to get, but when the time comes, I can't tell if you're just messing with me to get a free drink or if you're trying to let me know you're into me.
Girls, in general, are really hard to read! It's only a turn-off if it's at a bar. OK, at a bar, I like it, but outside of the bar, it's a dealbreaker for me. I feel like for guys, after that initial take-home, we want to the validation that you want to be with us too, not that you're just waiting for a better guy to come along to play games with you. It's a major insult.
A woman who does that isn't the one I want. I did it for years, I fought the battle like so many other guys, but as I've gotten older, I've realized that the type of girl I want isn't out to mess with my head or my emotions.
The science of dating: Opposites DON'T attract, appearance DOES matter and playing hard to get NEVER works, says psychologist
The Scientific Reason Playing Hard To Get Actually Works On Most People
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