They did it before, but they've forgotten how, or they're trying but it just doesn't seem to be working. Men need to re-learn the all-important skill. All types of marriages -- good ones, mediocre ones, and bad ones -- will experience a jumpstart when a husband figures out how to do something he's long forgotten how to do: THE PROBLEM Men are idiots.
We work hard to date and pursue our girlfriend, but once we marry our girlfriend it all stops. The man who dated, wooed, and passionately pursued his girlfriend degenerates into the husband who merely shares a home, bills, conflict, and problems with his wife. Once upon a time there was a girl you really liked. And you put a lot of effort into impressing that girl. Eventually, that girl became your girlfriend. You told your friends all about her.
You kept at it. You didn't let anything get in the way of impressing, wooing, and caring for your girlfriend. But then you stopped. No husband would ever articulate this, but the game plan followed by the average American husband looks something like this: Find a girl you like. Get that girl to like you back. Impress the girl until she becomes your girlfriend and wants to marry you.
Share a home, bills, conflict, kids, and stress with the girl who was your girlfriend. Clearly this game plan isn't working well. Our marriages need help. DATE YOUR WIFE TONIGHT Men, how do we begin to change our course? It's so simple you can start tonight. You dated your girlfriend. Now you just need to start dating your wife. I bet you a hundred bucks that if you follow the following game plan tonight you'll experience the beginnings of something fresh, new, and exciting in your marriage: Call your wife right now and tell her you're taking her out to dinner tonight.
Tell her you're making all the arrangements. How did you treat her before you were married? How did you woo her? Do you still do these things? This is a part of dating your wife. Doing these things just on Valentines Day is not sufficient. When you dated your to-be-spouse, you were intentional. That is the point. Inventory your recent dating history with your bride. Ask yourself a few questions. How are you doing? What are you not doing? After this, take minutes to develop a plan as to mirror what you did in the past.
Do again what you did to win your bride! Since Scripture is our ultimate authority and sufficient for all counsel, consult the Bible as you reflect. Read the book of Ruth and the Song of Solomon. Boaz and Solomon are beasts. Take some cues from their dating mojo. Ruminate on Ephesians 5. Reflect on these words from Proverbs 5: Pursue her like you pursued her before your wedding day.
Initiate Once you reflect upon your current dating mindset, then initiate your plan. Pursue her like Christ pursues the Church Eph. Be proactive in planning regular date nights—at least once a month, if not twice a month, or weekly. What is more, set up a time early in the week for an in-home date, then swing by the Cheesecake Factory and bring home a slice of 30th Anniversary Chocolate Cake Cheesecake. Pull out the Chemex. Sit at the kitchen table and catch up. You repented; you should keep repenting.
You initiated; you should keep initiating. Worship and Service Dating your wife is worship and service. Dating your wife is not only an opportunity to cherish someone precious. It is an opportunity to shape her spiritually.
Date Your Wife
About Randy Alcorn
Maybe both of you want to take a cooking class or catch whatever the action movie of the month is. More excuses cram into the divide, or anxious to get out of yuor relationship. The couple were seen hand in hand on a date in Boston. Dating is an absolute must. The actual relationship between two people gets buried. Keep it simple Grand gestures are outlandish and rarely practical. Tom and Giselle have the right idea. Dating your spouse is about spending quality time together; this does not include checking Facebook or email. Hold hands, widening it to a huge yawning cavern until free chat or dating sites is nearly dating your spouse blogs for two people to find their way back to each other. Physical distance can become emotional distance. Once married, we get tangled in mundane day-to-day routines without even realizing.