I want to preface that for everything I say, I know there are a ton of people who will disagree, and have the relationships to prove it, but as I ventured into and out of the virtual dating sphere I found out a lot about myself. Additionally, I know my experiment might sound extreme, but I needed something extreme to happen for me to really give it up once and for all.
This is what I found out: I Was Bored If you've ever been on any of these apps, gay or straight, you know that most of your hunting, swiping and searching is done when you are bored. If you live in a cosmopolitan like myself then chances are you aren't necessarily bored a lot because you have work, friends, fitness and a ton of other things constantly at your disposal, but boredom somehow creeps up on you. All of a sudden you're bored at work, bored at home, bored with your friends, bored at the gym.
I think you catch my drift. Life just isn't as exciting as you want it to be, and the thought that maybe just around the next swipe is the person you've been searching for all along is exciting. However, the problem arises when you finally do get excited, but continue to keep swiping because why not? No One Was Ever Who I Thought They Were As you make matches, swipe past people and possibly converse you start to build an idea of who the person is on the other side of the phone.
You create an ideal, and all of a sudden every little nuance becomes a bigger complexity to who that person is, and how they operate. You can't help, but think, "Damn, where have you been all my life? Mister Amazing loses his luster. He either starts creeping real hard, says something that throws everything off, disappears or just never decides to meet up.
If by some crazy force of nature you guys do set a date and meet, chances are he is not who he claimed to be, or who you built him up to be. His confident demeanor is replaced with one that is far less interesting, and not having the phone as an easy buffer shows you a much different person than the one you thought you had been chatting with.
This is why after 6 first dates in 5 days, I not once found myself wanting a second date. I Am Pickier Online Than In Real Life Having someone be presented essentially as a two-dimensional option, rather than a real life opportunity makes them feel much more disposable. I know personally, I looked at everything: There was no energy, no butterflies, no eyes from across the room to say, "Hey, wait there's something special about this one, and we can't put our fingers on it.
You literally became a resume that I could toss into the trash pile without any real thought, or feeling, which isn't how finding our potential partner should work. I Became Way More Shallow Sure, whether it's real life or virtual reality, the first thing you notice is how someone looks, but in a real life, you quickly see how someone acts, moves, sounds, etc. These other important attributes are what creates someone individuality, and takes them from being just anyone to uniquely them.
If I didn't like what I saw, I was quick to swipe left. No thought other than, nope, not what I think I like. Even if that were true, online dating can still provide people with a means to explore a wider dating pool. Your choices are increased geographically, socially, and even culturally. You can literally generate a person that you would actually be interested in! Then why is it that some people are finding it hard to adapt to this new system? There are many factors that can contribute to this, but we are here to discuss the general facts that tell us why some people are not fit for online dating.
Why do people use online dating? For one thing, it exists, so why not try it? Some people prefer it to real world dating, because it gives them more options. Aside from that, people are generally picky. By using online dating, they can choose a specific type of person based on their appearance, personality and interests. Some people use online dating for the sole purpose of finding people to hook up with. This is more prevalent than most people think. For every person who wants to be in a relationship, there are ten more who just want to have one-night stands or establish friends-with-benefits relationships.
They combine business with pleasure and are not as interested in relationships and hooking up. Basically, online dating is just a micromanagable version of real world dating. So, why is it still difficult for some people? That is why it can be difficult for some people to adjust to the idea of online dating. Online dating is a thing now. Everyone should just get over it. If hooking up is your goal, then go ahead and try it.
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16 Proofs That Online Dating Is Not For Everyone
You never know… 9. A message from someone you actually like otherwise known as: Now to profile dating tips back with something witty, they make it sound so easy, clever but nonchalant. Is there something wrong with your profile. Do they look like their profile picture. The first date Picture: This is actually working. PARAGRAPH. You never know… 9. No way to tell, obvs and secure number four… online dating for everyone. Speaking of which… 6. No way to tell, where they sell bar snacks.