I inched further inside and stood on my tiptoes to peer around for any sign of him, for any version of the photos I'd been fantasizing about for the past week, for the kind of guy who looked like he'd be into intense daily hour-long conversations with someone he'd never met before. And then, there he was. He smiled at me, and I approached him like a mosquito heading toward a bright, white lamp. We looked at each other like we'd both spent our lives in convents and had never seen a member of the opposite sex before.
And the rest was history. Well, for another week. He said he'd take me up on that offer. And then we hung up. If he continues getting even better. And that, in itself, was a lesson: This is the only time anyone still makes an actual mix CD for someone. Sharing a Spotify playlist is not special enough for the beginning of a new love. For now, it needs to be an actual CD. How much better you look in your normal life as a result of making sure you look good for dates.
The superficial side effects of being newly in love with someone. The moment when you stop worrying what you look like about around them. The way you get butterflies when you think about something especially wonderful they said, even days later. During this emotionally charged time, so many of us are tempted to spend as much time together as possible.
We never know if that is a good idea or if we should hold back and act like we aren't champing at the bit to discover everything that we can about the other person. Dating rules from the so-called experts - and from our well-meaning friends -- say that the prudent thing is to take it slow; if you show that you like him, he will think you're desperate and run in the other direction. Personally, I've always been of the opinion that I'd rather spend as much time with the person as he wants as I still try to avoid letting the guy that I'm dating know how much I like him at the beginning At the same time, I strongly believe in taking risks in my life and, especially, in love.
If I see potential in a person, I do what I can to give the fledgling relationship a proper shot. But that theory has bitten me in the ass more than once. And then there was the time that I decided to travel through Southeast Asia for two months with a guy that I'd been dating for three months -- and we broke up two weeks into the trip. But since all of these rapid-fire relationships kept ending in heartbreak, I finally decided to break that pattern.
I had learned many, many times over that if a guy was pushing to spend all of his time with me, it was probably because he was trying to fill a void in his own life and, therefore, he was probably not ready for a real long-term relationship.
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