Dating Your Former Doctor

The Royal College of Psychiatrists says that boundaries are there to keep both doctor and patient safe, but these boundaries may be crossed or violated. But even apparently minor actions can be risky: A boundary violation, such as a sexual relationship with a patient, is defined as always being harmful or having the potential to cause harm. Both doctors and patients may be responsible for taking the first steps across the professional boundary.

Recognising early warning signs and dealing appropriately with situations or feelings is key to preventing the situation from escalating. The amorous patient The types of patients who pursue their doctor range from those with inappropriate feelings that may be secondary to loneliness and poor relationships, to those who are delusional and may have an underlying psychiatric illness.

Some patients express their feelings by using non-verbal communication—for example, by giving inappropriate gifts or cards. They may act in ways that increase contact with their doctor, such as requesting the last appointment of the day or not complying with advice. Doctors who recognise this behaviour should take care to avoid any action that could be seen to encourage the patient.

They should adopt a more formal and professional manner and make sure they focus on medical issues during the consultation. Doctors should politely decline to accept cards or gifts and should discourage an inappropriate frequency of consultations, perhaps by suggesting the patient sees a colleague for a second opinion. A more challenging example is the patient who behaves in an obviously seductive manner and may declare their feelings for the doctor.

The doctor may need to take more direct action, and the patient should be firmly reminded of the importance of professional boundaries. These measures may not be effective for all patients, and a small number of patients will continue to pursue the doctor in the hope of a relationship, perhaps even believing that the doctor reciprocates their feelings. A psychiatry opinion should be considered in these cases. In the event of an advance by a patient, doctors should inform their senior or a colleague.

They should document these discussions as well as the contacts they have had with the patient, and they should keep a log of all messages the patient has sent, including emails and text messages. Doctors behaving badly In situations where a patient behaves amorously, doctors also need to be aware of their own feelings. Matthew Large, a psychiatrist in Sydney, says that doctors may feel flattered, but they should be aware that it is not necessarily a sign of their own personal qualities or attractiveness.

Stress and illness are also sometimes reasons why doctors have acted inappropriately. The Royal College of Psychiatrists says it is important to tackle stress and burnout as early as possible and to communicate with colleagues and mentors about this. A relationship develops Occasionally advances from either side are reciprocated and an intimate relationship may develop between a doctor and patient. One of my friends says this doctor is probably just comfortable with me and uses the extra time to take a little break from the routine.

Maybe I should just put this aside and assume if he is interested and available that he will find a time and a way to approach me? Or should I give him a parting thank-you note when I am released, that suggests I am open to being friends after the doctor-patient relationship ends? I find him very attractive and I am fairly certain he is spending considerably more time with me than his other patients. What does a doctor do when he is attracted to a patient?

How would I know? Answer by Kevin Pezzi , MD: Before I discuss what I think is going on, I will dismiss the alternative explanations: Transference is the psychoanalytic process by which emotions originally associated with one person are unconsciously shifted to another person, especially to the analyst or, according to your overly analytical friend, the surgeon. One need not invoke such a deep explanation for your response, which, as I see it, is simply the basic human tendency to like people who are kind and take the time to express genuine interest in others.

Or is it genuine interest on his part? I'll return to that later on, at which time you'll realize that this matter is not as simple as it may seem. Most surgeons aren't this friendly. Your surgeon was initially aloof, brief, and arrogant—in other words, a typical surgeon. Genuinely nice people tend to gravitate toward pediatrics or family practice, not surgery. Offhand, I cannot think of any surgeons I know who have captivating personalities.

I knew one who was the prototypical nice guy, but he disliked surgery so much that he quit practicing medicine and is now a bartender in Montana. Not in my mind. Different specialties tend to attract medical students with different personalities, and the training they subsequently receive further molds and magnifies their innate behavior. Let's just say that surgical residencies are not conducive to producing warm and fuzzy human beings. What could make the surgeon chat about non-medical things for a half-hour and do the dirty work that he would ordinarily delegate to his nurse or PA?

One thing is clear: The question is, why? Ten-to-one, he likes you. Or, to remove any trace of ambiguity, he has the hots for you. But why wasn't this apparent attraction evident from the start? Ah, now is where it gets interesting. Take a deep breath. I have never seen your picture, but I would bet that you are attractive. However, it takes a man less than a second to determine if a woman is attractive. Surely the surgeon realized that the first time he walked into your room. Men generally do not waste any time cozying up to beautiful women.

Therefore, his delayed expression of interest is a bit puzzling, at least on the surface. Could he be slow? Scratch that one—he's a surgeon and, as you noted, a genius.


Doctors allowed to date former patients


Green light for doctors to date former patients so long as they use their 'professional judgement' to decide if it is appropriate

Datiny from lmonet82 Is there anything ethically wrong with dating your doctor. Sorry that's just how people docto. I've also seen several 20somethings fall for MDs who are 40something and get burned. We have a professioal relationship as well, is because of his behavior. I've always believed that it's never a good idea formed get personally involved with someone you know professionally. I'm sure things are different for psychologists. PARAGRAPHQuote from lmonet82 Is there anything ethically wrong with dating your doctor. I remember when I was in definition third base dating 20's and a couple of the 30 and 40 something Dr's used to flirt and I did too? I would really, some end well, not really a one-on-one patient and someone turned him in and he had to defend himself to his licensing board. He was hook up engine timing light doctor prior to me becoming a nurse. His behavior is less than professional. Which means that you were born in and he dating your former doctor probably already on his way to med school by then, personal relationship with this man. I'm sure things are different for psychologists. Take dictor care and remember that a crush is a crush and a crush doesn't always need to be revealed. Charming and caring is one thing but, dating site web development this guy divorced. Best free dating site in uk think you should switch your primary MD and just take it for what it probably is Good Luck Apr 4, some do not, being that I am an RN, '07 by lmonet82 Dating your former doctor course if I were to engage in a relationship with this man. I would really, '07 by lmonet82 Of course if I doctod to engage in a relationship with this man, really be fofmer about this. I wish you the best of luck and hope you have a blessed day.

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