If he freezes up or becomes nervous in a non-excited way, though, there might be a history of sexual abuse; but let's hope it isn't that. It's a mental twist for me too - I've always expected the guy to be ready for make-outs, blow jobs, sex, etc. This guy specifically told me that we were moving fast, so now I'm scared of pressuring him. I've never been in that role before. Society says guys are always going to be after sex, so the standard scene is a guy pushing forward and the girl saying she's not ready.
The gender reversal in this situation is a major mental roadblock for me. It's nice to remember that he's also dealing with one. Just tell him that he's attractive to you and you can't help but be physical or something like that but he can always tell you to stop if he's uncomfortable with the situation. If the situation actually is as I see it, society is not really wrong since he's actually after sex. It's just that society also constantly conflates male sexuality with violence and he just doesn't want to be violent.
It's irrelevant what society says because you're not dealing with society, you're dealing with this individual person who evidently isn't what society claims he should be, and nor should he be. One of the things that changed for me was realizing that you can't really surprise most women with any kind of advance; they've seen a lot of embarrassing attempts at initiating things. Most will either politely decline by doing something like pulling your hand away, or politely guide you to doing what she likes.
A kind woman with average or greater sexual experience is the absolute best combination for an inexperienced man. That's sort of where I'm at - last time we made out, I started to unbutton his shirt but he didn't touch mine at all. He later said he moves slowly, which I accepted then but now realize was too vague. Asking for a timeline feels awkward too, however. Honestly you probably have to be more forward.
You unbuttoning his shirt isn't a cue for him to unbutton yours to him. You will probably have to make his moves for him the first time. Escalate yourself slowly and pay attention to his body language. You may have to do all the work at first. Put his hands where you want them. Move his hands the way you want them moved to show him what you want. I want to have sex with you. I want it to be fun and good for both of us. Do to me what makes you happy maybe set a couple boundaries.
Let's get nekkid and do this. If nothing else, it'll get him to talk about what his hang up is. Maybe his genitals are weird, or small and he's embarrassed about it. Maybe he has a gut he doesn't want you to see. Hell, maybe his dick sounds like an airhorn when he ejaculates. Which, honestly is something he ought to bring up beforehand.
I'd just like to mention that sex is a skill people can be trained in. These questions can be of concern for a number of men who are trying to regain, sustain, or maintain a life of purity. There is a concern because some women may view men who are virgins or practicing abstinence in a less than masculine light because men are expected to be sexually aggressive. The women may view them as men who are afraid of physical intimacy, impotent, homosexual, or men who have something to hide.
Remember all the buzz and suspicions about brothers on the down-low? On the other hand, there are many women who may not be alarmed about dating men who are virgins or practicing abstinence. These women may view men who are virgins or abstinent as men who are sexually responsible, disciplined, and have established standards that are set apart from societies sexual standards for men.
In a brief case study, a number of women were asked to list the pros and cons of dating men who are virgins and men who are abstaining. The results on the following pages gave many pause as to what how important or unimportant sex was in a relationship. Also, you want men to be sexually aggressive. I tried not to but I did, and he developed a phobia sexually cause he did not gain experience to know what was good or bad to a woman. No matter how many times I tried assuring him he did not believe me nor would the feelings of being inadequate go away cause he had nothing to compare to.
I personally would not recommend dating a virgin. It may work out but in my experience it did not. Solar Wind Power Alternative Energy Facts. I always think of nerds as pervs, just like dirty old men, they think about it more than practice it. I am 37 and unfortunately a virgin but live in Alaska. Wish someone like you lived up here. My husband was a virgin when we got married. Any fear I had turned out to be irrational. I like sex as much as the next person or more but I feel like too much emphasis is placed on it.
Sex is something you can get better at over time long as everyone is open to trying new things. Believe me it is one kind of schooling where the homework is greatly appreciated. What about a woman who is a virgin or practicing abstinence….
Male virginity can be awkward, sexy
What It's Really Like to Be an Adult Male Virgin