I laughed a lot that evening. Like from pick-up to drop-off. As our dates went on for some months, I began to notice the disapproving eyes of people around us when we were out together. Time passed and we grew closer. He was a writer who never put his thoughts down and I encouraged him to do so. We were comfortable with one another. HBCU, Afro-turned locs sporting, ankh wearing, and lover of all things Black — falling for a white man. He brought up the subject of a relationship and I retreated.
But of course eventually I entered a relationship with him because it only made sense. My two closest friends were shocked but very supportive and liked him a lot. You want to completely transcend the cognitive prison and corporeal self in which we are always encased, becoming nothing but senses. This the Russian man understands. He leaves behind any semblance of propriety, responding only to primal urges, losing himself in you entirely. Love in a Russian man is expressed in a type of tender savagery.
So Russian men crush your body, not because they want to hurt you, but out of an excess of feeling. They squeeze you tightly because they want to possess you fully, and to possess always means, to some extent, to first destroy. They bite your neck and bruise your arms for the same reason that tigers claw on the trees to mark their spot: Russians like to make occasions out of everyday rites, so men will make gestures to convey that going on a date with you is a special event in their lives.
They bring flowers and little gifts I have an entire hideous gold animal menagerie from a previous Russian admirer. They open the door for you and pull out your chair. They tie your shoes for you if they see your laces are loose. They always, always pay, proudly frisbeeing their credit cards at the bill, idly chatting and signing the check without even looking at it.
In Russia, having a man pay for you obligates you to absolutely nothing, just as having him walk you home means absolutely nothing Note: Russian men act like your boyfriend from the very beginning. They put their hand on the nape of your back as they gently lead you to the table. They hold you, caressing your hair and kissing you on the forehead, putting their arms around you in a way that lets every other man in the universe know that you are his girl.
Which brings me to one of the best and worst things about dating a Russian man: I used to do an audio comprehension exercise with my Advanced English class in which the students listen to a couple arguing about whether or not to move in together after a year. He will make you feel like a delicate flower by taking over all of the rough and "manly" responsibilities. He will take your relationship seriously You'll never hear a Russian guy say things like, "Make money, fuck bitches!
If your relationship is serious enough, he will actually want to meet your family. He actually wants to get married and have kids Russian guys a little old fashioned like that and it's amazing. A lot of men I meet tell me that they hate children or that they don't believe in marriage Their mothers legit pressure them to find a nice girl on a daily basis. He will want to protect you When you date a Russian guy, you become his "baby". He wants to always make sure that you're safe and happy.
Engaging Latino Students for Transfer and Completion
I love (and hate) dating Russian men
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