If you really want to meet someone who loves sailing because sailing is your passion, that person who also loves sailing is already hooked as soon as they read that sailing is your passion! If they hate sailing, hate the water and hate sailors, they're already gone. When you are writing about who you are and how your live your life, be sure to show the reader what that looks like in action.
You are trying to attract the right people to you, and to do that you need to be specific. For example, many people say in their profiles they like to travel. Don't assume that the reader is going to know which of these you'd be into! Talk about your favorite travel destinations, your dream vacation or the best trip you ever took - the person who loves your kind of travel - or is intrigued by it - will take note! Rather than saying "I love to have fun" say "I love having fun - my ideal weekend includes bowling, a Netflix binge and a pancake brunch.
If one of your defining values is loyalty, show what that looks like in your life. When you are in love, are you your partner's biggest cheerleader? Have you stood by your beloved losing baseball team? Or your childhood best friends? Look to your life for actual examples! The added bonus of specificity is it gives people who want to reach out to you a "hook" to mention in a message to you.
Leave out the negative and the snarky. It amazes me how many people use their precious profile real estate to talk about what they don't want or about their cynicism, bitterness or pessimism. Negativity is so not sexy! Not only do you come across as negative, but you also give the impression that you are the very thing you claim not to want.
If you say "drama queens need not apply" I will assume that you have tons of relationship drama, which means you don't have the self-awareness to see how much of it you create! The better you are at attracting the right people, the more the wrong ones won't be attracted to you. Besides - you can't avoid being contacted online by some people you don't want to date - that's par for the course. Your focus instead should be on being contacted by those you do want to date!
It is more effective to focus on attracting the right people than repelling the wrong ones. Another common pitfall is sarcasm in the profile. However, the nature of dating assumes that you have something valuable to offer a potential partner. It means combing your hair or putting on a nice shirt before you take a picture. It means putting in some effort. Think of it like going out for a job interview: However, this is your time to shine. Your profile is all about you, which means you get to talk about what you like, what you love, and what you want.
Blank boxes make everyone nervous. Are you artistic or analytical? Are you an outdoorsy type, or do you prefer indoor activities? Your unique hobbies or interests can be a huge eye-catcher for a visitor. Everyone likes curling up on the couch watching Netflix. Not everyone has an extensive collection of homemade foam costume swords, or builds kickass robot arms in their spare time.
Even if you have typical hobbies, describe what you enjoy about them. Your career or ambitions: Ambition can be an attractive trait, no matter who you are. Are you an aspiring author in the middle of your first novel? None of these areas are absolutely required, but they should help give you something to start writing about. Remember, the important thing here is to put your best foot forward.
My Ideal Date Alcohol and feigned indifference. We go for drinks and alternately act interested and completely aloof. It borders on rudeness. In the profile above, the dater takes time to lay out her personality. You can see that she has fancy taste in films Criterion Collection , likes to go to shows, and openly admits that she likes critical theory. She is trying to find people who will like her for who she is.
I believe that an online dating profile should be an honest portrayal of your personality and act as a filter, nixing out all the unwanteds early on. Being forthright and upfront about your desires is not only a good basic practice, but it also saves you and others precious time and energy to get it out right away instead of later on. If you have deal breakers—like smoking, children, or cats—you should write those down in your profile right away.
Otherwise you might be in for a sorry surprise later on. The more specific the better. I suppose my perfect girl is between 25 and 30 and nice to be around. I think these sorts of specifics are really smart. I like this excerpt from another profile:
How to Write a Dating Profile That Will Get You Dates
How To Write a Dating Profile, Even If You’re Not A Writer
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