It just means that to really see if there is something there, you have to allow your guy to be more alpha with you — plan dates, make the first move, and follow up to see you again. Is it POSSIBLE that you determine after a week, a month, or a year, that you were on the rebound and misjudged things? So let down your guard.
See what its like to be treated well. Try a new relationship on for size and see if it fits. But it would be hard for him to make you happy unless you let him. You were in a relationship with no spark. The next time out, you want PASSION. You were in a relationship with a poor slacker. Next time out, you want MONEY. You were in a relationship with a person who was uptight. Next time out, you want FUN. My mom married a man who was an overcorrection from her deceased husband.
My dad, son of Russian immigrant parents, was not the most chivalrous guy. If you keep doing the same things you will keep getting the same results. My long term Narcissist was a white collar worker and had long dark hair, bronze skin and dark eyes. My boomerang Narcissist had short blond hair, green eyes and was a blue collar worker. Taking care of themselves is such an alien concept to a codependent, the mere thought of it is extremely uncomfortable and can evoke quite a bit of fear.
The easiest way to not have to deal with it is to take on someone else and whatever issues they might have. Wishing that someone new could take away your pain is highly unrealistic and puts an unfair burden on their shoulders. One could date different people and the same issues would keep coming back. The thing that all your relationships have in common is you. You are the common denominator and until you get you healthy, dating is the last thing you should be doing.
Or, should I hound him to give me closure, and do I need closure? Can I just move on? Should I ignore my feelings of being used and abused emotionally? Dear Reader, After a significant relationship has ended non-mutually, the partner who has been "dumped" often wonders about similar issues to yours. Working through these thoughts and feelings may be the next steps that you can take. Is it ok to move on now? Might you want to wait a bit to date? There are really no "right" answers to your questions.
Through some personal exploration and reading the rest of this response , you'll learn the possible choices to help you move on. You were with your boyfriend for two and a half years, which allowed you to develop and foster a relationship in which you got to know and care for him. It's natural for you to be "not at all over" him right now, as it's been only about one month since the break-up.
It may just be that not enough time has passed for you to get over him
After a Breakup, How Do I Know If It’s Just a Rebound Relationship?
This is how long you should wait to start dating after a breakup
PARAGRAPHWant Help and Advice for Making Your Ex Come Back to You. What Benefits can you Expect from Dating. But you should NOT date for the sole purpose of making your ex jealous! What Benefits can you Expect from Dating. What Benefits can you Expect from Dating. You even get my ex girlfriend is dating my brother hopefully have some fun experiences while you wait to get your ex back. Do I like playing games. Breaking cycles is VERY important for feeling better. You will need to feel better to be in the right mindset to reclaim your lost love, you can do more DAMAGE than good if you do not handle it correctly. PARAGRAPHWant Help dating immediately after break up Advice for Making Your Ex Come Back to You? Dating immediately after break up people are doing it. SHOULD I even date after a break up. You even get to hopefully have some fun experiences while you wait to get your ex back. Usually, use the mindset that this is the first and last time you will see this person, ultimately. Regular people are doing it. PARAGRAPHWant Help and Advice for Making Your Ex Come Back to You. Even if on the inside your world top ten worst dating cities crashing and you are pining to get back with your ex, keep an open mind.