I start thinking maybe smoking a little weed once in a while isn't that bad after all. I've never done coke before, and it's unquestionably more dangerous than weed, but if you only use it once in a blue moon, is there really any harm in that? Please, any help is appreciated. I just don't know where to go from here and don't want to get myself wrapped up any further in this relationship if it's never going to work.
Carter, I'll let you make your own decision. Read some of the stories here at Sober Recovery on the Stories of Recovery board. Go to an open NA meeting and listen to the people there. They all started off as occasional drug users too. I don't think you'd be posting here if you didn't already have some sort of red flag about her drug use. All I can suggest is that you pay attention to your gut feeling on the subject. You're not an intolerant bastard. Even if you were, so what?
It's good to have principles and stick to them. I think it saves us from a lot of heartache down the road. I'm married to an addict and its been quite the struggle, but I could not stay with him if he didn't think he had a problem. It's hard enough being in a relationship with an addict who's not in denial. I wish you all the best. Obviously only you know what to do and how you really feel. Reading your posing it sounds like you really do feel strongly about not doing drugs.
That is fine, hell that's great! Why comprimise your true beliefs? Don't do the drugs just to apease your girlfriend or so that you won't feel like a stick in th mudd. I think part of growing up and "finding ourselves" I assume you are in your 20's or early 30's if you are dating a 24 year old? You know yours so you are on the right path.
Don't comprimise your beliefs, you are to good for that. Dear member I can only talk of my own experience and it doesn't mean it'll be the same for you, I'm just sharing Ultimatums don't work, I often gave one which i was never able to carry out and that only gave me low self esteem and guilt. Think how you would feel if someone gives you an ultimatum, on something they don't like, especially on something you don't see anything wrong with I am with a recovering alcoholic and addict but when I started going out with her, she told me that she was doing coke occasionally with her friends.
It was a bit of fun, just a laugh, that's all. The problems that typically plague standard relationships, from forgetting an anniversary to cheating, create an almost impenetrable barrier in the relationship. Add in a drug-ridden past or present into the mix, and the relationship is not only stressful, but also very unpredictable.
I've had three serious relationships in my life, and two of them were with drug addicts. Dating became a daily juggling act between love and drugs, between happiness and utter devastation. I was constantly in a state of limbo about the success of my partner and the future of our relationship. This is my personal experience dating a drug addict. Although it won't be the same for everyone, maybe some of you can relate. If you're romantically involved with a current or former drug addict, just know it's not all bad.
Dating a drug addict, as with dating anyone, comes with pros and cons. Drug addicts, even if they have been clean for months or years, are difficult to trust. For part of their lives, addicts have been consumed with obtaining drugs and finding money to pay for them. Even if they swear they're clean, trusting them completely is going to take time.
It's hard to believe they could save money when the thought of buying drugs is always lurking in the back of their minds. They also have probably become experts at lying and making excuses about their whereabouts, friends and money, so you'll want to check up on them constantly. It also goes the other way. If recovering addicts are trying to push their pasts as far away from the relationship as possible, they will eventually resent you for questioning them.
There is a reason addicts continue attending Narcotics Anonymous meetings and therapy sessions; dealing with addiction is a lifelong battle. Some days are better than others, but the temptation to use drugs is a strong force that can set back years of progress. As an addict's significant other, you take on that anxiety and worry.
You constantly have to be wondering if the person you love has relapsed. What is worse is you'll also have to consider how you'll deal with relapse if it happens. To recovering or present addicts, drugs are no. Their bond with drugs will be stronger than their bond with you, because drugs are easier. Even the best relationships are sometimes messy and chaotic, but drugs are an immediate escape and a quick way to temporary nirvana. There are, of course, exceptions to this. Some addicts realize that they've given up the truly important things in their life, and work as hard as they can not to mess them up again.
Relationship advice- How to handle an "occasional" recreational drug using g/f?
Would you ever consider dating someone that occassionally did drugs, but maintained a normal life?