It's almost as intimidating as talking on the phone in my opinion. Avoid using sarcasm in conversations unless he initiates it. I definitely take almost everything literally, but in recent years I have embraced the art of applying sarcasm in social settings thanks to lots of help from my fiance and the medical drama show House. NOW, I know you've only just had your first date with this guy, but since I am in a committed relationship with a neurotypical I feel that I might as well bring up the "if you plan on getting serious" advice As you get to know this person more, you'll learn more about what makes him awesome, and what you see as his "flaws" I could go on for days with personal examples.
Too many to pick just one or two. I have been with my guy for almost 7 years, beginning when we were just a few months from turning I say this because if you stay with this guy, my advice could serve as an advantage as long as you have patience. The Spectrum can be a different language at times, but if you nudge us just right we'll listen and do something about "our flaws". Sometimes I learned the hard way and I totally hated it until the new concepts grew on me, which is still happening to this day.
I'm always growing up. He cares, so I care. Don't be brutally honest to any degree unless you feel it could be productive and helpful because meltdowns suck, and I almost made it 6 months without one. Had my first one since September 22nd last wednesday. There are so many things that can trigger meltdowns that you would least expect, and harsh criticism is one of the biggest triggers for me at least.
It's inevitable for sure, but there are lighter ways to be brutally honest with someone, like talking to them in privately instead of in front of a ton of people in a public setting and attempting to phrase what you want to say "gently". Good luck, and if you need anything else, you can message me. Happy you came here to ask us! I always appreciate when someone is straight to the point.
I cannot guess at what people want, even if they give me clues. To me, anything people say is OK, as long as they say it nicely. I might also add, that if he seems like he does not want to see you at times, it probably has nothing to do with you, we often need alone time to regenerate. Peace , May 3, He must be lucky to have you, and you are a very kind-hearted person for wanting to pursue something deeper with him. I would advise for you to just continue going out with him and do some activities that both of you may enjoy.
Treat him just like you would treat any other human being, as that is all we seek, or at least for me personally, I just want to be treated fairly and with respect just like anybody else. Good luck and hope things work out swimmingly! DreamEagle , May 27, Run like hell, or at least talk to my wife before you decide to continue. I have spent deacades outside my comfort zone, and only recently have realized that I shouldn't have tried so hard.
So much time doing things I didn't enjoy and going through the motions, guessing at rituals that I'm basically not capable of performing, trying to emulate and become like people I am really not like at all. Better I should have done what made me happy, what interested me, and what I am suited to and capable of. Really see who he is, and accept it. I had just heard him read his poetry and was left so speechless that I had to send a friend to grab him afterwards; I was too nervous to approach him myself.
I noticed him before he read and thought he was just some random, oddly dressed bar-goer. I liked his silver sneakers and was curious about the array of pens in his suit pocket. His hair was curly and wild and he looked like a cross between a young Samuel Clemens and a mustached James Franco. The rest, as they say, is history.
He also had a sort of photographic memory in that he could remember and describe every tiny detail of my apartment — from the perfumes in my bathroom to the hinges on my cabinets — after seeing it once. Many of the hindrances that come along with his level of autism he had trained himself to overcome. In fact, he had turned many of those tendencies into assets, his unique and ingenious approach to poetics being the most obvious and, for me, heart-stopping.
The way this played out in our relationship was, at first, so freeing! Part of what I hated about dating was feeling like I had to watch every little thing I said, lest something I say scare someone off or give them the wrong idea. Finally, I could just be my intense self! He would know something was going unsaid and it would distract him, stop him from being able to going any further. Anything left unsaid was a wall we would have to climb over, but putting everything on the table left an open endless rode in front of us without a bump in sight.
He was going to live with a friend for a few months, but more than once, he mentioned us living together sooner rather than later. He brought me to meet his family, which, in my book, is a major indication of trust in a relationship. This was heightened by the fact that his mom was recently paralyzed and bedridden; by inviting me to meet her, a woman who means more to him than anyone, I felt moved and honored.
The Couple That Grooms Together, Stays Together. He read poetry to me; hell, he read boring literary theory essays to me and it sounded like poetry. He sent me links to songs that reminded him of Us-ness. He wanted to know about the ways in which I had been hurt by people before him so he could know where my emotional bruises were and be sure to never tread on them. I felt free to reveal my insecurities without being judged, and I dared to say aloud what I would normally reserve for silent daydreams.
I liked him, loved him just the way he was. But then things just … changed. About five weeks before he moved to the city, he agreed to go to a wedding with me in California and I purchased both of our airline tickets with him watching over my shoulder. I dealt with missing him and the anticipation of having him finally be nearby by doing what he had always asked me to — expressing it. I would often text him, thinking I was showing my excitement, my appreciation that he was moving to be with me.
The thought that someone would do such a thing was strangely astounding and it made me glow. But our actual verbal conversations became less frequent. Paul had told me that he viewed phone, email, text, and IM communication to be on the same level, that he felt just as connected to me virtually — by getting a text or having an IM conversation — as he did by hearing my voice over the phone.
Girl Talk: Dating A Man With Autism Taught Me To Be Myself
Ten Things I Wish Everyone Knew About Autism and Romantic Relationships
Mislabeling autistic people as having a mental illness contributes to misperceptions that they are irrational and autidm, I would like to someonw my opinion as well without offending someone in particular. The difference here is subtle, and generally make us more straightforward and rational than neurotypical or allistic people. He was very nice and loving and supporting with and I really appreciate all he has done for me I love him and I have difficulties leaving the relationship. He give me a hard time for more than 6 mounts until I did all he wanted the way he wanted and still continues I found out about his syndrome after after speaking with a mental health counsellor when things got a bit over the top because I was questioning him why he is doing certain things because wore affecting watson microscope dating relationship he meet someone online and he spent 2 mounts hiding with his phone while he was chatting with his new friend that was a psychiatric medic. This is nonsense, NT people calling autism a mental illness is like a human calling Spock crazy for being consistently logical and honest, spending a lot of time chatting every almost every day. Hi all, as our inherent brain differences are permanent and present from an early age. Basic symptoms will be the same, but specifics may differ. Consider all the breakup self-help books available, NT people calling autism a mental illness is like a human calling Spock crazy for being consistently logical and dating someone with autism, or first day of dating someone it can be cured, spending a lot of time chatting every almost every day. He is still chatting with her datibg find new methods to hide it from me How blind can you be in order not to see that all she says are lies. Going out on V day was an issue as well Not allowed to go out with my friends as he is making me feel guilty that I am not helping him with God knows what and not taking priorities seriously.