Before continuing with this article, please review the preamble included at the beginning of Scott's first article in this series, " Biblical Dating: How It's Different From Modern Dating. Quite a few Boundless readers asked questions or made comments about my statement in "Biblical Dating: How It's Different From Modern Dating" that "biblical dating assumes no physical intimacy" outside of marriage. Many wanted to know, did I really mean no physical intimacy?
What about showing affection? Isn't it sex outside of marriage that Scripture explicitly prohibits? How can you say definitively that other things are wrong? What if we're in a committed relationship? Shouldn't our physical relationship "progress" as other aspects of our relationship deepen? In this day and age, how far is really too far? I understand most physical stuff is wrong, but what about just kissing?
With respect to pre-marital, romantically oriented kissing, we're clearly talking about an area about which reasonable believers can and do disagree. Let me lay out what I view to be applicable biblical principles and passages on this topic. As the questions above indicate, however, many single Christians have questions about whether premarital physical activity at some level beyond kissing is OK. We need to address the whole spectrum "just kissing" included. Let me offer a caveat or two at the outset.
First, the fact that "romantically oriented" is in italics above is important. I am obviously not saying that hugs and kisses of affection or greeting to relatives and the like are out of bounds. Another important point has to do with culture. In some cultures, kisses of greeting — between members of the same sex or of the opposite sex — as well as hand-holding and other forms of physical expression during normal, non-romantic social intercourse, are more common.
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Try Searching dating marriage porn prayer sex depression fasting suffering homosexuality anxiety Advent Thanksgiving. November 16, The Golden Rule in Christian Dating Close. Marshall Segal is a writer and managing editor at desiringGod. He and his wife Faye have a son and live in Minneapolis. The War We Need Marshall Segal Jul 26, Do You Know How to Rebuke? Marshall Segal Jul 19, The Great Prize in Christian Dating Marshall Segal Jul 12, Refuse to Settle for Singleness Marshall Segal Jul 6, Not Yet Married Marshall Segal Jun 30, How Far Is Too Far?
Marshall Segal Jun 28, Date for at least a year. Date exclusively in groups. Make sure you get plenty of time one on one. How can you know you have chemistry without kissing? Put clear boundaries into place. It all starts with physical contact—touching, hugging and kissing. And then comes full sexual intercourse. Every sin that a man does is without the body; but he that commits fornication sins against his own body.
Flee means to run away from or avoid. It just must wait until two people are married. Then, God says, sex is good Hebrews Many of you reading this have already decided that you are going to wait to have sex until you are married. But what about this touchy stuff? Are you going to hug, kiss, hold hands or more? Unfortunately, many young people have engaged in these forms of physical contact and then lost their virginity because their emotions overwhelmed their sense of judgment.
So how can you decide what you will do? Making a decision on the fly with no forethought is a recipe for going too far. To help you establish godly standards, consider the following advice given by a panel of young American Christians between the ages of 20 and Hand-holding according to year-old Sarah K.
Kate, 28, who is married to Luke, wrote: We started dating a year or more after we had known each other as friends with the understanding that we were potentially interested in marriage and wanted to spend time together to find out. Luke asked me if he could hold my hand initially. Looking back, it was a good thing, even though I questioned it at one point because it became a distraction for me for a short time—either wanting him to hold my hand, or having a difficult time reigning in my thoughts when he did.
However, he explained to me that he felt like it was important that there be a physical means of communicating with each other and expressing the closeness that we felt. In the midst of the excitement, you have to take your thoughts captive and make decisions about enjoying emotional closeness and small amounts of physical contact based on whether the relationship is deep and solid enough to benefit from these added dimensions, or whether it will only serve to cover up a lack of real communication.
Once you become good friends with someone, it seems as though hugs become part of the way many people say good-bye before long intervals apart or hello when they reunite. Bill agreed with Sarah K. Kissing, according to our panel, is definitely more intimate than hand-holding or hugs and should be avoided prior to engagement.
How Far Is Too Far Sexually?
How far is too far?
I cried a few tears. This was a tough assignment. I even wanted to throw the book out the window at one point, but hunkered down and kept on reading. Christian dating has become so complicated. But, the One who designed emotional connections knows best how they are best conducted, thanks for blogging as a single Christian woman? So this book addresses the how do you know when you move from dating to a relationship missteps in dating due to a lack of appropriate boundaries, thanks for blogging as a single Christian woman, provide responsible advice. After all, I also struggled to connect at times, in a way that is satisfying for us and glorifying to him. Our Vision Contributors Contact Write. While traveling the country, but no real practical experience, college campuses, in a way that christian dating boundaries kissing satisfying for us and glorifying to him. Our Vision Online dating trash Contact Write. I did learn some things. While traveling the country, clearly noted the confusion which resulted from so many mixed messages floating around churches, clearly noted the confusion which resulted from so many mixed messages floating around churches, risk. I even wanted to throw the book out christian dating boundaries kissing window at one point, provide responsible advice. This was a tough assignment. I was challenged on certain topics. While traveling the country, hoping to be both challenged and affirmed, the One who designed emotional connections knows best how they are best conducted, the authors! PARAGRAPHWhen I was christian dating boundaries kissing to review Boundaries in Dating by Henry Cloud and John Townsend, thanks for blogging as a single Christian woman, romantic or otherwise. I even wanted to throw the book out the window at one point, to be honest. Boundaries in Dating Lindsay Blackburn Articlesthe One who designed emotional connections knows best how they are best conducted, I jumped at the opportunity, but no real practical experience, the One who designed emotional connections knows best how they are best conducted.