The key — and the best way to start a conversation — is to ask a question. Girls love when you ask us questions. But it can also be more complicated than that. Online dating is a little like gaming. Writing a message and getting a girl to reply is the final battle with the boss. But you also have one big advantage. We want you to win the battle. Focus on quality, not quantity. Unfortunately, many guys try to message a bunch of girls, instead of just the ones who are the best matches.
Girls see through this. We get so many of those lazy mass-messages that we just ignore them. Look for girls with common interests, shared beliefs, and similar goals. Those girls are much more likely to respond to you because you are a good fit. And a girl like that will appreciate that you took the time to read her profile, notice what you have in common, and ask her questions about those things, creating a solid connection. Compliment common interests and personality — not looks.
Girls are tired of getting messages from guys who compliment our looks, but have nothing to say about the rest of our profiles. Those messages are shallow and meaningless — the online equivalent of getting dry-humped by douche bags in a club. Like this first message example: This is a great message for three reasons: Your mother always told you so and you never really believed it too much, but the fact is that first impressions really count. Online dating gives you a bit of an advantage in that you can strategically plan that first message so it hits home with a bit of a punch.
Unlike an everyday face to face meeting where the words just tumble from your mouth in no apparent order. So why is it that so many guys and girls yes girls too fail miserably in avoiding the move from the Inbox to the trash can? Extensive research into online dating statistics show that there are some set rules that we all need to follow.
Tone down the Netspeak Netspeak is the main culprit when it comes to unsuccessful first mails. The words if you can call them that ur, r, u, ya, cant, hit, realy, luv,and wat, are the top nine worst words to use in an opening message. Mails that contain these words will get practically no replies proving that intelligence or maybe just good grammar is an attractive trait in both sexes.
Surprisingly, though, ha ha and lol were considered ok to use. Perhaps this is because using both these terms shows a sense of humour, another trait many seek in a partner. But hehe, while still effective tends to sound a bit like a supervillain. So while you should avoid using netspeak too much, using slang or an unusual greeting is considered a great move. You could always spruce it up a bit and go with a foreign greeting, but make sure you know what it means otherwise you could come off looking like a bit of a Del boy.
While everybody enjoys compliments on their looks, focusing too much on physical looks seems to imply shallowness.
How to Write Your First Online Dating Message
Online Dating First Message Tips: Opening Lines that Work
These all make a terrible first impression. No one at OkCupid read any actual user messages to compile this post? But ideally you should just disbelieve the whole thing. PARAGRAPH. No one at OkCupid read any actual user messages to compile this post! These all make a terrible first impression. But ideally you should just disbelieve the whole thing. PARAGRAPHWe analyzed overfirst contacts on our dating site, and you can see how that works out. In fact, if you count hit and we do. PARAGRAPHWe analyzed overand what trends were statistically significant, beautiful. PARAGRAPH. It could be that appearing unsure makes the writer seem more vulnerable and less threatening.