Dating A Doctor Jokes

I always see spots before my eyes. Didn't the new glasses help? Sure, now I see the spots much clearer. A veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. The doctor asked her all the usual questions, about symptoms, how long had they been occurring, etc. I can tell what's wrong just by looking. Of course, if that doesn't work, we'll have to have you put down. A lady rushes into the veterinarian and screams, "I found my dog unconscious and I can't wake him -- do something.

The lady can't accept this and says, "No, no, he can't be dead -- do something else. The cat jumps up on the table and starts sniffing the dog from head to toe. It sniffs and sniffs up and down the dog, then all of a sudden just stops and jumps off the table and leaves. How much do I owe you? After all the vet didn't do anything for the dog.

The man finally agrees and the doctor transplants the sheep heart into the man. A few days after the operation, the man comes in for a checkup. The doctor asks him "How are you feeling? One treats what you have, the other thinks you have what he treats. What is a double-blind study? Two orthopaedists reading an electrocardiogram. A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience.

Seeing God she asked "Is my time up? She even had someone come in and change her hair color. Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it. After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was hit by a car and died immediately.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 years, why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the car? Has anyone seen my watch? That was some party last night. I can't remember when I've been that drunk. Page 47 of the manual is missing! Well this book doesn't say that What edition is your manual? OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.

We'll need it for the autopsy. Come back with that! Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that? Hey, has anyone ever survived ml of this stuff before? Damn, there go the lights again Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Hell, the guy's got two of 'em. I lost my contact lens! Could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing my concentration off.

I wish I hadn't forgotten my glasses. Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us. The floor's clean, right? What do you mean he wasn't in for a sex change! What do you mean, he's not insured? This patient has already had some kids, am I correct? Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card? I think it is sharp enough. What do you mean "You want a divorce"!

I don't know what it is, but hurry up and pack it in ice. Let's hurry, I don't want to miss "Bay Watch" That laughing gas stuff is pretty cool. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny. The boy began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation. What do you think about that?

I knew a guy who was an avid hunter. He never missed a season. But one day he went out in a bit of a hurry and accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun. He raised up his umbrella, pointed it at the bear and squeezed the handle. And do you know what happened? Dumbfounded, the old man replied, "No, what? Peggy Sue's father answers the door and invites him in. He asks Bobby what they're planning to do on the date. Bobby politely responds that they'll probably just go to the malt shop or to a drive-in movie.

Peggy Sue's father suggests, "Why don't you kids go out and screw?


Doctor Jokes


24 Things Everyone Who Dates A Doctor Will Understand

The girl's father stands up again. PARAGRAPHWhat's the difference between me and a calendar. Come on in and meet them. She said sure, he lets it all go and the loudest most hair-curling fart you've ever dating in david panama or smelt rippled through the dining room. Come on in and meet them. The girl's father stands up jokee hollers "Duke. The line was long, nairobi free dating girl's father stands up, so he went to the docto, in hopes that they might blame the dating a doctor jokes for the horrendous fart. They go in and sit down at adting table. When the movie was over, so he went to the restroom, and went back into the theatre. Once again, so he went back to the lobby, he asked her if she wanted some popcorn and Coke.

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