Instead, try to keep your body relaxed and maintain eye contact so you can make sure your ex-partner understands what you are trying to share. Part 2 Maintaining Boundaries with Your Ex-Partner 1 Give your ex time to process the news. Be prepared for your ex to be upset and unsettled by news of your new relationship. Rather than try to get your ex to accept the news, you should give your ex time to process the situation. You may also give your ex space to process by opting out of get together with mutual friends.
You may also talk to the best friend and recommend that you both give your ex space and time to process. Sometimes, people just need to digest emotional information and come to terms with a sensitive situation. So, over time, the best friend may be able to reach out to your ex and explain their side of the story. This may help your ex accept your new relationship and also avoid ruining the friendship between the best friend and your ex. Though you may try your hardest to get your ex-partner to understand and accept your new relationship, it may not always be possible.
Your ex-partner may be too upset by the relationship and have a hard time being okay with your new romance. Your ex may also be angry that their best friend became involved with someone from their past. You may need to learn to accept that having your new relationship means letting go of your relationship with your ex-partner. Over time, your ex may come around and accept the situation.
But you cannot force your ex to do this. Part 3 Fostering a Positive Relationship with the Best Friend 1 Avoid comparing the best friend to your ex. To create a healthy relationship with the best friend, you should avoid comparisons between the best friend and your ex. Your relationship is not a competition and the best friend has different qualities than your ex. Comparing the best friend and your ex will just lead to conflict and tension in your new relationship.
Maybe he tends to plan more intimate dates at home, and your ex would go all out with an expensive dinner for date night. Rather than compare the two, focus on the positives of each approach. Then, remind yourself that you are with the best friend because he does things differently and offers different things than your ex did. Trash talking your ex, in front of the best friend or with other friends, will only create more tension between your ex and the best friend.
Your hurtful words about your ex may make your new partner upset. This could then lead to tension and conflict between the two of you. For the sake of your new relationship, you should try to be okay with your new partner spending time with your old partner. Your new partner may also miss spending time with his best friend, despite the circumstances. You should encourage them to spend time together so it does not seem like you are trying to be controlling or selfish in the relationship.
Making an effort to spend time together as a group can help to normalize the situation and allow your ex to get used to your new relationship. If you still share mutual friends with your ex, you and your new partner will eventually end up at social events where your ex is present. Plus refer back to my aforementioned post break-up song playlist. Because I had the fortitude to put aside the love, I really examine whether he was the right guy for me and decide that no he was not.
Missing him now seemed weak. I had initiated the break-up so it was almost like I needed to punish myself. Where had all my strength gone that led me to prompt the break-up in the first place? I know we all miss family or friends who pass away. The hurt we experience when something meaningful comes to an end sometimes masks the truth.
I wholeheartedly believe this because just recently I passed that same street corner that had emotionally debilitated me one short year ago. I passed it and two more blocks before it even registered. But once I realized? I waited for the gut punch. The shortening of breath. The sick I-think-I-might-throw-up feeling to kick in somewhere around my mid-section and slowly envelop my whole body in that weird numbing way.
Once healed from the pain of implementing a life change that I know I needed to make, that street corner can really only represent something good. A moment when two people really and truly loved each other. And I think the next time I find myself over there on 43rd and Madison, it might even make me smile. If I even notice.
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