Dutch Dating Definition

You know, as a modern day working woman and all. Money is already an extremely touchy and pesky subject to breach with a significant other, let alone a new love interest. While the act conforms to traditional notions of masculinity and gender roles, the recent social and economic mobility of women has challenged the status quo of dating etiquette. Going Dutch on a first date is a common occurrence nowadays when men can claim gender equality and weasel their way out of what is supposed to be a respectable, romantic, and courteous gesture.

It feels good to be treated and taken out, especially if he initiated the date. Going Dutch implies a platonic involvement, usually a sign that neither party is interested in pursuing a romantic connection. But when a man picks up the tab, it also lets a woman know that he values her company and is willing to invest in their date. It shows a strong, dependable commitment from the man.

There are inherent problems that exist within these differentiated gender roles, though. Men may feel like they are owed something or being taken advantage of for a free meal. Women are less likely to engage in sexual activity if they pay for themselves. As a rule of thumb, those who initiate should pay because they are the ones hosting. Besides, we all take risks in dating. Save the splurging on someone you know you like.

What happens after the first date? Who should take care of the expenses then? When, if ever, is it okay to go Dutch? Some can argue that women want the best of both worlds: Sometimes, men and women can inadvertently pigeon-hole themselves in traditional outdated roles. It is not uncommon to split the bill on the first date — right down to the last cent's worth of what you ate — regardless of whether your're dating a Dutch man or woman.

This shouldn't come as a surprise considering you are in the country that gave name to the phrase 'going Dutch' splitting a bill. Some say it is unromantic but Dutch relationships pride themselves on equality between Dutch women and men. Another option is for one person to pay for, say, drinks and the other for movie tickets.

Either way, be prepared that a date is not always going to be free ride, nor will free drinks in bars be that forthcoming from Dutch men. However, this does not mean that paying for your date is not appreciated — it's your choice. The value of equality seeps into many interactions in Dutch dating. Dutch men in general are not renowned for opening doors for Dutch women or taking their heavy bags. While Dutch women might like it when men do this, they do not expect it.

Such actions aren't seen as an affront to ladies but rather as a sign that Dutch men see them as equals — although some might say this is the unfortunate downside of equality when dating a Dutch man. Keeping it casual The Dutch aren't known for dressing to the hilt. Part of this has to do with the prevalent bike culture — have you tried biking in high heels and a mini skirt, through the rain?

It also comes down to the Dutch laid-back attitude, which tends to extend to clothes and makeup , so you may want to take it down a notch if you're used to getting very gussied up for a date. Don't take it personally if your date shows up in sneakers or arrives at a fancy event in jeans. Group mentality It's unnerving approaching a group of Dutch men or Dutch women to strike up a conversation with someone you have your eye on — but such is the dating scene in the Netherlands.

Foreigners sometimes feel isolated by the mass social gatherings when going out, but unless you see another way in, you'll just have to brave it and charge — and accept the possible public rejection, or possibly even a group first date. You might find it less common to 'label' a relationship or have a talk about the direction of your love affair, even after several months of meeting. Reaching a serious relationship level can take time in the Netherlands because the Dutch can be cautious with letting newcomers in, whether it's a friendship or partnership — this is not necessarily personal as much as it is part of common Dutch personality traits.

But it's not impossible — many foreigners report happy relationships and marriages with Dutch nationals. Making new Dutch friends or partners may be difficult at first but once break through, you'll find that Dutch girls and men can make very loyal friends or partners for life. Are Dutch women the most beautiful in the world?

Dutch model and actress Doutzen Kroes. Do you know the meaning of gezellig? Would you be offended by personal questions? Learning the basics of Dutch culture can do wonders for your love life — and your Dutch life in general. It's important to be aware of the impact of cultural differences on your relationship. Misunderstandings can easily arise when dating someone new, especially if your different upbringing means that you often take very different things for granted.


Going Dutch


10 tips for dating Dutch women and Dutch men

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