Before you ever get the chance to send any communications, another member will see your profile first. If they don't like what they read, then they won't bother to send you a message! That is why you need to take the time to make an excellent profile, with a good level of detail. However, here again you want to highlight your strengths and minimize your weak points.
That isn't to say that you should lie, as you will be found out in the end. Rather, you simply don't want to scare off other singles, before they get a chance to know you better. Think About What You Want to Say The best approach is to think about what you would say on a first date. Obviously, you are both there to learn more about each other, yet there is an unspoken boundary which you shouldn't cross. Your first meeting is about learning general information, and getting a clearer sense of each others' personalities.
Most people know that sharing too much sensitive information right away is awkward and embarrassing. Rather than creating a strong connection, it usually causes the other person to run for the hills instead! How does this apply to your profile? Think of your profile page as a first date, and talk about similar topics. Don't discuss how your divorce made you depressed, or why you have a fear of commitment! We all have misconceptions. A study of college speed daters conducted by Eastwick and Eli Finkel, Ph.
And women are just as motivated by attractiveness as men are. Don't try to be the man she wants you to be "Being too agreeable and connected actually hurts you," Eastwick says. You're not her best friend yet; you're still trying to establish yourself as someone unique and interesting. We like the give-and-take, and you'll stand out from the spineless, personalityless crowd. You Can't Really Read Her Call him: Presumptuous Peter First noticed: Graying hair, refined; coat and tie Thought to myself: Loosen up—this is pleasure, not business.
Peter looked about 15 years older than I am—fine by me, as long as the gent makes me laugh and treats me as an equal. We chatted amicably, and I asked him what he did for a living. The condescending "sweetheart" was bad enough, but in my mind, playing coy about his employment implied that he thought I was interested in his money. He wasn't being friendly, so he never had a shot. The cold truth is that we sometimes make up our minds within 5 minutes of meeting someone. The scarier truth is that the criteria we use to judge strangers are often skewed and irrelevant.
Psychologists classify personalities in five dimensions: Upon meeting someone, we most often judge their agreeableness, researchers from Columbia University found. But the same research also shows that this is precisely the dimension we're least accurate in judging. Make good eye contact. Smile some more Be as friendly as possible. Researchers from Texas State University at San Marcos surveyed speed daters' "thin-slice judgments," based on 30 seconds of interaction.
Women who had positive first impressions gave five reasons. Three of the five: The man communicated well, had a great smile, and acted friendly. Do you notice a trend? We Can Be as Shallow as Men Call him: Ugly Owen First noticed: Wonky teeth and worse hair—wispy and thinning and wild, like a meth-head clown Thought to myself: Owen was from London. He was delightful, a music producer and a fascinating conversationalist. A friend and I agreed: There is very little I like more than a person who concentrates exclusively on me.
Similarly, there is very little I like less than meeting someone who looks over my shoulder at someone or something else. I once saw a singer at a small club peek at her watch during a performance to see how soon she could get off the stage. Clearly, the audience was not her first priority. I left when she took her break. If you appear to be in a bad mood I will assume you are either upset with me or have a sour disposition.
In either case, why should I see or talk to you again? Remember, the cost of being nice is small.
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How to make a good first impression on a date
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